i meant what i spilled. though little is said

im going to ignore you. that one reply really broke my heart. even you said its undecided yet. but deep in me i know its 90% confirmed already. its all about the formality yeah.

i dont wish to see you either because you had turn into such a gentleman. that country has turn you into such a gentleman. and its not hard to fall.

i dont know what to think, i dont know how i should react. people are getting pregnant. im not even enggage. its lot to catch. im far behind. and blimey your decision aint making things easier.

i would like to give up. i did it once, i think i can do it again. people will say im running again, but trust me, im not, its just i tend to fall to a wrong person. who marriage aint in their priority list. sigh.

I’ve been down so low
People look at me and they know
They can tell something is wrong
Like I don’t belong

Staring through a window
Standing outside, they’re just too happy to care tonight
I want to be like them
But I’ll mess it up again

I tripped on my way in
And got kicked outside, everybody saw…

And I know that it’s a wonderful world
But I can’t feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it’s a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you’re here, here with me

Sometimes I feel so full of love
It just comes spilling out
It’s uncomfortable to see
I give it away so easily
But if I had someone I would do anything
I’d never, never, ever let you feel alone
I won’t I won’t leave you, on your own

But who am I to dream?
Dreams are for fools, they let you down…

And I know that it’s a wonderful world
But I can’t feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it’s a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you’re here, here with me

And I wish that I could make it better
I’d give anything for you to call me, or maybe just a little letter
Oh, we could start again

And I know that it’s a wonderful world
But I can’t feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it’s a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you’re here, here with me

And I know that it’s a wonderful world
I can’t feel it right now
I got all the right clothes to wear
I just want to cry now
Well I know that it’s a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you’re here, here with me

And I know that it’s a wonderful world
When you’re with me

i feel like crying. keep hoping low shikin. keeping hoping low.

riangkanhati:

Ketika rakan-rakan mula melangsungkan pertunangan dan perkahwinan,aku masih begini.

Mencari kekuatan dari sebuah kekecewaan dan penantian.

Aku mahu menjadi yang terbaik buat pasanganku kelak.

Aku tak mahu bazirkan perasaan menyayangi insan yang belum pasti menjadi milikku,hati dan perasaanku untuk jodohku.

Apa khabar agaknya dirimu.

Aku tahu ALLLAH jaga dirimu untukku.

Akan aku jaga diri untuk dirimu..insyaALLAH ^_^

ya Allah,
akan kecewakah aku?
atau ia satu berita gembira?

aku berserah kepada mu, ya Allah yang maha besar.

blackaurora:

Help me change.

Help me change.

Help me change.

Because I do not want to be like this anymore, my Lord. 

And I cannot change without your help.

Please help my helpless soul. 

Hold me upright. 

Get me through this. 

Please.

(Source: BlackAurora)

ridiculously ridiculous. im on dental rotation. its a one week rotation. hari ni baru masuk. tomorrow dah exam. towards the end of the week exam lagi. and did i mention its dentistry? which i have no basic at all.